Fear of being devoured by carnivores roaming course would speed up the game of golf

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Credit: Meira.TV screen shot

We've always thought golf was a dreadfully slow and boring game. Playing it is bad enough; you can get stuck behind a slow foursome, and all of a sudden you're in danger of running out of beer.

But watching golf is just torture. People hunched over little white balls, taking forever to line up putts, checking their swing, checking their swing, checking their swing ... Christ, can you just hit the ball and be done with it?

We once knew a guy who had an excellent suggestion for speeding up golf. Sadly, he later died of a heroin overdose, but we don't believe his poor life choices or tragic end should detract from the merits of his idea, which was this: Let carnivorous animals roam free on the course!

And while we might choose a carnivore with a little more leg for those long chases, the Myakka Pines Golf Club should be lauded for its carnivore pilot program. Our deceased, heroin-addicted friend would be proud.

This story, "Fear of being devoured by carnivores roaming course would speed up the game of golf" was originally published by Fritterati.

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