This is our invoice to Audi and Delphi Automotive for awesome brand-building services rendered

2015 Audi A8L
amateur photography by via Flickr

Dear Audi and Delphi Automotive,

Congratulations! We did it! When we say "we," we don't mean it in the "editorial we" sense; you know, that stilted way they make us write things around here. We mean the collective "we," as in partners or a team.

And we were a team, from the Golden Gate Bridge all the way to somewhere in North Carolina or wherever when we (that's the editorial we) sort of lost interest got busy with other things.

Of course, if we had someone do all the writing for us the way Driverless Audi did all the driving, we also would have made it all the way to the Big Apple, just like you.  (Which reminds us, how are Driverless Audi's writing chops? We're considering outsourcing some blog work. Can you submit some samples?) 

But we digress. The real purpose of this post is to bill you for brand-building services rendered. Over the course of seven days and 3,000 miles, Fritterati made Driverless Audi a household name! OK, and maybe got a couple of Delphi engineers fired. There's always collateral damage and regrets after an eventful cross-country trip. 

The way we see it, the value of effective brand-building is incalculable. But the price of a new Audi is quite calculable. We laud you for driving such an amazing bargain. (Pun definitely intended!)

Getting back to business, as much as we admire Driverless Audi, we're more into a sedan than an SUV. The A4 looks like a fine vehicle, but if you have any S4s taking up space in the storage room, one of those would be fine.

Manual or automatic doesn't matter. For exterior color, we lean toward the classics: White, black or gray.

Finally -- and we've been planning this surprise for awhile -- we have decided to let our favorite German luxury car maker legally change its name to FritterAudi. Seriously, we'll never hassle you in court about it or pull a Scientology or SeaWorld on you.

You're welcome, partners!


The Masked Millennial

P.S. We can give you our shipping address offline.

The Complete (Until We Got Bored) Driverless Audi Chronicles:

Driverless Audi taken on 2-hour joyride by teen who is a good boy but just needs some direction

Driverless Audi wonders if it would kill one of these Delphi guys to spring for a car wash

Driverless Audi will veer into oncoming traffic if it hears Bohemian Rhapsody one more time

Driverless Audi briefly wrestles with conscience before stranding annoying Delphi engineer

Driverless Audi busted for DWD (Driving While Driverless) on Day 2 of cross-country trip

Road rage incident mars Day 1 of Driverless Audi's epic journey across America

Driverless Audi sets out on cross-country trip to find itself

This story, "This is our invoice to Audi and Delphi Automotive for awesome brand-building services rendered" was originally published by Fritterati.

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