Political pollsters have their little algorithms, their loaded questions, and their margins of error. The poll unskewers have wishful thinking and detachment from reality.
But only Google Autofill reflects the true feelings of the people, though sometimes the feelings of people who can rig the results are reflected more. And is that not exactly how are democracy works? In your face, Nate Silver!
Not that Google Autofill delivers odds on each searched presidential candidate, like some cheap tout sheet. Rather, Google Autofill suggests the current level of public sentiment or awareness for each candidate. For example, if the first suggested autofill term for a candidate is "Who?" it is likely that the candidate needs to increase his or her public profile. Getting coverage in TMZ can help with this.
So let's get started. All results are real based on our search of each candidate's full name, except for the ones we didn't care for, which we replaced with our personal autofills. Ha ha! Just kidding.
The only Democrat without an obvious autofill search problem is Biden. Hillary's got the email thing (we're surprised Benghazi isn't there; c'mon, SEO-savvy Clinton haters, you're losing your touch), Sanders is a socialist, and Jim Webb is sitting in a tree with George Bush. On to the GOP...
My God, this image loading is driving us mad!
Four more Republicans to go? Are you kidding? We are not doing Sarah Palin.
Most of these Republican candidates escape real damage in autofill returns. Huckabee has a Ted Nugent problem, Rubio has the water-glass problem (minor), and Scott Walker has an evolution problem.
These will change over time, but if we had to predict the next president based on today's Google Autofill returns and our perceptions of political reality, we're going with Joe Biden.
This story, "Here's what Google Autofill says about each 2016 presidential contender" was originally published by Fritterati.